‘Here I am, dear diary, about to confide in you again.’
I really love the epistolary style, whether featuring letters are written to another character or – as in this case – diary entries, so with this opening sentence I’d assumed I was going to love this book.
When Caitlyn meets Blade, it’s insta-love.
He’s staring at her in the restaurant where she’s sat with her friends, Julie and Miranda, and it’s not long before she abandons them to approach the attractive boy in the bright red hoodie. They run off together, crash a college house party, passionately make out in front of strangers.
Their whirlwind romance begins.
Caitlyn’s completely and utterly in love. She refuses to heed the warnings given to her by Deena Fear (you thought this would be a Fear Street novel without one of the Fear family appearing? You’d be wrong!) who saw Blade first, and believes he should be hers.
Caitlyn is (innocent, idiotic, self-absorbed… You pick the adjective) and genuinely believes nothing can get in the way of their love – despite the fact that they’ve known each other for less than two weeks – so when she sees Blade at a club kissing another girl, she goes crazy. She can’t believe he’d do that to her, so she stabs him to death.
Yep, the dead boyfriend referred to in the title is Blade. There’s a shock!
She stabs him to death on his doorstep. At the funeral, she’s on edge in case the police arrive to arrest her, and her anxiety levels go through the roof when Deena reanimates Blade’s corpse and makes him sit up.
The next thing, his body disappears and the girls realise that Deena did much more than temporarily reanimate Blade: she brought him back to life! But even in death he only wants Caitlyn, and being stalked by your dead ex-boyfriend isn’t the best way to spend senior year…
I couldn’t connect to the characters, who were all flat, one-dimensional caricatures of teenagers. You’d think after writing books for teenagers for this long R.L. Stine would know how they acted, but that presumption would be wrong.
Ways the teenagers aren’t realistic:
- ‘That’s when I knew Blade and I belonged together’ is a quote that comes out less than an hour after they’ve known each other. Retch.
- Deena tells Caitlyn she saw Blade first, and Caitlyn thinks ‘hm, what does that mean?’ before twigging that DEENA LIKES HIM?!?!?! a few chapters later. What else did she think ‘I saw him first’ meant?
- Caitlyn stabs Blade, then decides ‘to stop that horrible sound he was making. I swung the knife back, then plunged the blade deep into his stomach’. Yeah, cause killing someone is the best way to stop their pain noises. How about DON’T STAB PEOPLE IN THE FIRST PLACE!
- Also who the hell calls their kid Blade? (and who decides a character called Blade should be stabbed to death? That’s just too obvious).
- The “best friends” are just plot devices there to give Caitlyn alibis. Neither of them have personalities or plots, they’re just there to give Caitlyn someone to avoid at school when she’s feeling guilty about BEING A MURDERER.